


Six Feet Down Under

by shiranuikai



Category: Pro Wrestling NOAH, Professional Wrestling
Genre: Character Death, Death, M/M, Night Terrors, PTSD, Trauma
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-22
Updated: 2020-11-22
Packaged: 2021-03-10 00:53:54
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,645
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27674984
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/shiranuikai/pseuds/shiranuikai
Summary: Go Shiozaki and Katsuhiko Nakajima explore their shared trauma. This story takes place sometime before the AXIS break up.
Relationships: AXIZ - Relationship, Go Shiozaki/Katsuhiko Nakajima, Shiozaki Go/Nakajima Katsuhiko
Comments: 6
Kudos: 5





	Six Feet Down Under

**Author's Note:**

> I've had this one planned for a while. I thought it was important to get something out after being plagued with terrible writer's block. Thank you for reading.

Katsuhiko’s eyes snapped open from a deep and seemingly dreamless sleep, the first undisturbed rest he could remember having in some time. He blinked slowly, his eyes re-adjusting to the darkness of the small, yet cozy bedroom. The only light came from the bedside table over his left shoulder where a battery operated alarm clock glowed at him: 4:36 AM. 

Katsu gently stretched his muscled limbs under the plush white comforter draped across his chest. Some of his joints made light popping noises, but nothing felt particularly painful. The bed was quite warm and his still eyes itched with drowsiness. It would take no effort at all to drop right back to sleep if he closed them now. As he hitched the comforter up under his chin and prepared to drift off again, he heard a low, quavering voice that stopped him in his tracks.

“No… no, no, no… please… he can’t be, no…”

Katsuhiko turned on his right hip and reached his hand out. The pads of his fingers grazed his bedmate’s shoulder, and he began tracing gentle circles into his skin. Shiozaki Go was soaked with sweat and trembling, two very bad signs. Katsu wondered if Go talking aloud in his sleep was what initially woke him, but his brain had been too temporarily fogged with tiredness to register that.

That made his insides twist with guilt, even though he had been in this situation with Go enough times before to know that there was very little he could do once his partner started having a night terror. He continued lightly rubbing Go's shoulder for a few moments, being careful to keep his distance. There was protocol with these night terrors that plagued him, and he had been entrusted to follow them to the letter.

“Go-san,” Katsuhiko called out softly, his voice dry and reedy from sleep. He trailed his fingers up his back to his neck, and touched the soft blonde hair there. “Are you awake?”

Go didn’t answer or seem to be aware that Katsu was touching him at all. His body continued to quake and sweat was beginning to soak his hair and the sheets just beneath him. Katsu sat up on his knees and carefully leaned over Go, turning the lamp on the night stand nearest to him on. The room was suddenly flooded in warm, white light, driving all the shadows back into their corners. Turning the night stand light on was step one. Now that he could get a better look at him, he noted that Go’s handsome face was taut and pale, his lips moving soundlessly. Katsu’s stomach turned over. This would be a bad one.

He carefully climbed out of bed and retrieved the empty water glass from its usual spot on Go’s night stand and quietly slipped into the bathroom, flicking the switch for the light as he bumped the door further ajar with his hip. Step two. The light above the sink hummed to life almost instantly, but was far too bright and unforgiving at that hour. Katsu squinted and used his free hand to rub the stars out of his eyes. He turned one of the taps on once his vision cleared enough and filled the glass with cold water. Once he turned the tap off, he went to edge back into the bedroom. Before he could push the door aside, Go’s raised voice startled him, rooting him where he stood to the tile floor.

“H-help me… Kobashi-san… please, he can’t, he can’t…”

Katsu’s chest felt suddenly tight and heavy. It occurred to him, not for the first time in all of these years of watching Go struggle with his grief, that he was afraid. He was there the night Mitsuharu Misawa passed away too, watched it happen from backstage. He remembered feeling stunned and shaky all over as people ran from the back to help. He remembered the haunted look in Sasaki-san’s eyes and the way he hugged Katsu to his chest unabashedly, almost for too long, as if he were afraid Katsu would disappear into thin air once he let go. He remembered the stretcher bringing Misawa-san away, but knowing from the way everyone was either weeping or screaming that it was already too late.

But despite having lived through it, nothing he felt would ever measure to the level of grief that resided in Go Shiozaki, or even Naomichi Marufuji. Their grief contained multitudes that never truly subsided and only grew with each passing year. There was never a moment where Katsu felt like he was enough, that he could possibly offer anything to either of them to help bear the burden of so much loss and sadness. To know them was to stand in the shallows with them while their anguish lay dormant, but just as the tides rolled in like clockwork, their sorrow would eventually break and crash over them like a terrifying black wave, pulling them and any bystanders under. To know them was to accept your own intermittent drowning. To sit under the waves and confront ghosts with them until you could drag them back to the surface.

Katsu heard the sheets rustle and Go began coughing. He cursed at himself and hurried forward, clutching the glass of water to his chest. Go seemed to be trying to sit up, but his legs were tangled in the sheets. Katsu placed the glass on the night stand and knelt to help him drag the covers off his body, being careful not to touch him. Not just yet.

“Go-chan, can you hear me?”

“K-katsu…” Go’s voice was tight and strained as he sat up. “Water, p-please.”  


“Here.” Katsu pressed the glass into Go’s still-trembling hands and watched him drink it down in two gulps. When he finished, he coughed a few more times, and Katsu took the glass from him.

Go sighed shakily and ran a hand through his sweat-damp hair. “Would you… would you mind running me a bath, please?” He gestured to the bed and looked apologetic. “I’ll strip these… I’m sorry, Katsu. I’m really-”

Katsu shook his head quickly and gently cupped Go’s cheek, feeling more confident that he was lucid enough for that sort of contact. “There’s nothing to apologize for. I’ll start the water and change the sheets… get undressed.”

Go sighed again but nodded, looking exhausted. As he gingerly stepped out of his pajamas, Katsu hurried to start the water for the bath and stripped the bed, stuffing the soiled sheets into a hamper to deal with in the morning. When he returned from the linen closet with clean sheets, he caught a glimpse of Go’s naked frame entering the bathroom. He deposited the linens onto the bed and followed him in, watching Go gently sink into the tub, the steam rising from the water and enveloping him. Katsu was struck by the thought that he was a vision, even when he looked drawn and sleep deprived. He sat down next to the tub and leaned against the edge, finally allowing himself to take a long, deep breath. They sat in comfortable silence for several minutes, with only the sound of the bathroom pipes creaking around them.

Go lifted a hand from the water and dried it on a nearby towel before cupping Katsu’s face. Katsu leaned into his touch, closed his eyes, and kissed his palm. Go’s fingers found their way into his hair and he felt some of the tension melt from his body. It was impossible not to react, not to want more of him, not to climb into the bath with his pajamas on and all just to feel more of his touch, because stopping to take his clothes off would put unnecessary seconds between them that Katsu couldn’t bear. He was mere moments away from lifting himself into the tub when Go’s low voice interrupted his thoughts.

“Tomorrow night, I’ll sleep in the guest room.”

Katsu’s eyes snapped open and narrowed. “Why would you do that?”

Go rubbed his thumb over Katsu’s cheek, his face expression even. “How are you supposed to rest when I seem to have an _episode_ every other night?”

Katsu sat up and brushed Go’s hand away, feeling frustrated. “It’s not _every other night_. How many times have I told you that I don’t mind?”

Go was silent a moment before he shrugged and brought his hand up to his mouth, a sigh escaping anyway. “You shouldn’t have to listen to me relive what happened… it’s not fair to you.”

Katsu snorted before he could stop himself. Shiozaki Go, like all NOAH-born men, was very good at being noble to a fault. “I think it’s unfair when you treat me like a child and make decisions for me.”

Go looked at him mournfully. “I don’t think you’re a child.”

Katsu leaned forward and used his thumb and forefinger to hold Go’s chin, giving him no choice but to look him in the eye. “I’ll never know what it’s like to live with your pain… all I can ask is that you trust me enough to let me share in it, help you through it. That’s AXIZ, isn’t it?”

Go looked like he was going to reply for a long moment before he settled on closing the distance between them and kissing him firmly. A rare concession. Before he could protest, Katsu climbed into the tub and straddled Go's lap, the bath water sloshing dangerously against the edge. That earned him one of Go’s famous laughs that started in his core and spread outward, his limbs shaking. Go's hands trailed up Katsu’s now soaked pajama bottoms to rest on his hips, and Katsu placed his hands on either side of his chest, resuming their kiss in earnest. He felt the tide roll back out, the black water receding to nothing for now.


End file.
